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November 28, 2004
Bash.org
Isn't it amazing how on the internet we feel comfortable telling people the horror stories of our lives that we wouldn't ever want anyone we'd ever actually see to know? Case and point:
Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fucked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in shit. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.
Bash.org has more...
Posted by dminky at 06:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 27, 2004
Poisonous Wife
A man goes to see his Rabbi.
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
The next day the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone yesterday for over three hours. You want my advice?"
The man anxiously answers, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
Posted by dminky at 01:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 23, 2004
Fuck The South
No, those aren't my words -- they're the words of http://www.fuckthesouth.com, a fun read that will help you to vent some frustration. And if you're a Southerner, maybe learn some humility. :-p I'm sure it won't, but it's one of those pages that's pretty funny until you think about it and realize that it's all true... :-S The contained links are even more interesting.
Posted by dminky at 10:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
My Baby!
Finally! My new computer is here! It's so beautiful I could make love to it right now! It's... it's.... AGH! I love it! Fast, sleek, sexy, powerful. Like a wild puma in the jungle! Is there a more beautiful sound than the gentle breathing of a processor fan? Is there a more beautiful color than the gentle blue that my computer monitor bathes me in? Is there anything more fantastic than the aroma of new electronics? No. Nothing can compare!
I'm a geek...
Posted by dminky at 02:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 22, 2004
More Anger At UPS
So I drove to UPS this morning to go pick up my package. When I got there, they couldn't find it. It just wasn't there! Apparantly "hold for pick-up" means "put it on a truck and drive it around all day." The workers there told me it would probably be delivered today. So, I waited... and waited... and nothing. No delivery. Not note on the door saying that I missed them. They just didn't come at all!
This only further underlines that I will never ever use UPS again.
Posted by dminky at 11:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 21, 2004
Jehovah's Witnesses
The other day I was awoken to the annoying sound of a knock at my front door. I really wasn't in the mood to get dressed, so I just answered it in my underwear, expecting Alex or someone to be there. I was a bit surprised to see 2 old ladies, who were a bit suprised to see me hardly dressed at all.
"Do you want to live forever?" they asked me.
"Huh?" was the only thing I could reply.
So they gave me a pamphlet explaining that God wants us to live for ever and ever. The pamphlet has great catch phrases like "Can you imagine what it would be like to live for a billion years?"
The pamphlet also interviews a woman who used to believe that it was OK to live for only 70 or 80 years, that it was enough for her. Then a Witness elder asked her how her son would feel when she died, and she suddenly realized how selfish she was being.
The pamphlet had a string of pictures showing a boy at birth, 10 years old, 15 years old, and 20 years old, then the last picture repeating over and over and over... The lady at the door pointed this out to me, trying to prove to me how great live in the Watchtower is (she looked about 45, by the way). My roommate was in the other room saying, "Lady... this is a picture. That boy is not still that young."
The final article in the paper explained that when Jesus was elected Supreme King of Heaven in 1914, he waged a great war on the demons and blah blah blah... King of Heaven? 1914? What?!
Meeting these people has just furthered my insistance that this religion is beyond sanity. I'm sorry... but this is such bullshit. If you believe in this crap you need to step back, bash your head against a rock, and repeat until you kill whatever brain cells are letting you believe in this.
The ladies said they're going to come back soon. I think I'll wear no clothes at all this time around, and rub peanut butter all over my body while they're talking to me. Then we'll be somewhere on the same sanity level, and they won't embarass themselves half as much.
Posted by dminky at 12:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 20, 2004
UPS... *shakes fist*
Man... I'm so pissed off at UPS right now.
I waited at home all day long yesterday because I had to sign for a shipment. I didn't get anything done because I was waiting for them. And they never came... or rather, they DID come, but they came at some ungodly hour of the night after I had given up (after 9 pm) and needed to get out of the house. Where the hell but Florida does UPS come after 9 pm?! They left that annoying little sticky on my door that says when they'll come back, only they didn't even say... so I have no idea.
I called them today, since this is just ridiculous, and they told me to use their website. So I went to the website and found it totally unusable. Links they said were there on the phone were not, and it was completely impossible to find anything other than the fact that my packages were not delivered yesterday.
So I called them back and sat through 30 minutes of recordings just to talk to a person... finally I got someone, and she pretty much blamed the incident on me because I wasn't home yesterday. She said everything in that oh-so-friendly condescending tone. ARGH! I just wanted to scream at her and tell her that I waited all day long for that damn truck because they told me I had to be home to sign it, and if they delivered the package at any time during the day (since they told me it went out for delivery at 8:05 am) instead of late in the night then they'd find me there, happy to sign it! But no, I wanted to be polite, cause there's no sense in yelling... Anyway, after she asked me if I can stay home again all day Monday, to which I replied no, I asked if I can pick them up. Well that's OK too, as long as you do it whenever it's not convenient for you. You see, UPS is closed on Saturdays and Sundays... so I have to wait until Monday ANYWAY to get get this shipment that I really need NOW to make any use of it that will affect my grades.
So damn you, UPS, Unsatisfactory Parcel Service. Here's one customer you will never recieve business from again. I'll use Fed Ex or the USPS, since I saw both those trucks drive past my house TWICE yesterday, both before 4 pm.
Posted by dminky at 10:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 19, 2004
Xi You Ji
My latest assignment in Digital Illustration was to create a book cover. I originally intended to redo the cover for The Count of Monte Cristo, since the book I have just uses a show from the movie (bleagh, what a cop-out). But last weekend I read Monkey: A Journey To The West, an English version of a very popular Chinese myth. The book was so addictive that I decided I had to illustrate it. It also gave me another chance to use the monkey I already created for my business card (giving the card a little more significance, as well). So it was all-in-all a very good opportunity. I'm pretty happy with the results, we'll see how it fares tomorrow in class.
Posted by dminky at 12:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 18, 2004
New Site, New Blog!
Whee! I've finally installed Movable Type on my own site rather than having to use my friends! You may notice the link above now directs you to dminky.freeshell.org instead of drocko.freeshell.org. I guess it's not so much of a big difference, but it means I am able to use MT 3.12 now, and I have my own site. Now to purchase a domain name... ^_^
Some of the nice features I have on here will help reduce comment spam (finally). So I will start re-opening comments to see how well it works... You should have the option to register with a free comment service that will automatically let you post comments. Non-registered users' comments get sent to me for approval now, so next time I get 400 spams about Texas Hold 'Em or Free Cialis, I can delete them before they appear on the site. There's also the option of installing new plugins since this is on my own site now. I'll have to explore that more later, when I have free time.
I've also fixed some broken links to my videos that were reported to me, so they should all work now. Let me know if you have any trouble viewing any pages or files (including graphics).
Posted by dminky at 10:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 16, 2004
A Great Exercise Program!
I just came across this exercise suggested for adults, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to you. The article suggested doing it three days a week. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato sacks, then 50-lb. potato sacks and, eventually, try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.
Posted by dminky at 01:21 PM | TrackBack
Post-Wedding
Erik's wedding was last weekend, and it was really great. I had a lot of fun, and I'm pretty sure everyone else did. I got to meet Anaa for the 2nd time and I'm really convinced that they're a great couple. Right now they're in Europe on their honeymoon (Where does that word come from?).
The trip home was rather interesting, as by coincidence Erik, Anna, and I were all on the same flight to Atlanta, seated next to eachother. I actually was expecting something sitcom-y like that to happen.
I've noticed I write less and less entries that ramble on about one thing, and more and more entries that ramble on about many different things. That's probably a product of having so much to do here that I don't stay focused on one idea for very long.
So having said that, I ordered a new computer to replace my dying laptop. It should be here around Thanksgiving, so that will give me the weekend to set it up and try to catch up on the work that is suffering right now due to slow computer. I didn't quite finish the project that was due today, but that didn't end up hurting me too badly because lots of people didn't finish it and the printer was broken, so we didn't have the critique after all! Talk about good luck!
I'm trying extra hard to stay on top of things now... no more slacking off. It's partially the weather that's given me a more upbeat outlook, and probably partially the mini-vacation I had this weekend. It's finally getting cool down here, and that just puts me in a really good mood.
The semester is finally showing signs of ending soon now, as I am recieving final projects in some classes. That means I need to spend every bit of my free time finishing up things that I started during the year but didn't finish, and touching up the paintings that I turned in to make them acceptable (cause some of them turned out pretty bad). I'm gonna go get to work on that now.
Posted by dminky at 12:49 PM | TrackBack
Washington
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found Him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled, "There is another Washington...wait until you see the idiots I put there."
Posted by dminky at 12:33 PM | TrackBack
November 09, 2004
Ugh...
My painting is really turning out shitty... :( I've given up on the current attempt at painting and I am now going to redo them digitally... argh! That means I wasted $20 and a lot of time on materials to do them in acryllics. That's the sucky thing about media experiments. :(
Well, I'm definitely not going to sleep one wink tonight. With less than 19 hours until these are due, I'm in for a lot of crap!
Posted by dminky at 08:20 PM | TrackBack
Going to the Chapel
This Thursday I leave for Virginia for Erik's wedding. It's hard to believe he is getting married... it's just one of those weird things I guess. You don't really expect to see family relations change, but I guess they do.
In other news, I have 2 entire paintings to do today. That's right, from start to finish. I'm in deep shit.
I also have to create a book cover for The Count of Monte Cristo by next Tuesday. That wouldn't be *so* bad if I wasn't going to be in Virginia for the entire weekend. :-\ It's already a rough week and it's just going to get rougher...
Posted by dminky at 12:44 PM | TrackBack
November 05, 2004
Evolution
Every year Ringling makes a poster for the Illustration Senior Show that highlights its senior illustrators. For the past few years it's been done with self portraits. We were assigned to make a self portrait for class, so here's the one I came up with. I'm going to try to get Future Matt on the poster. ;-)
Posted by dminky at 04:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 04, 2004
A Bird In The Hand...
...is a lot better than two terms of Bush.
I wanted to update this sooner, but I've been so upset about the election results that I couldn't come here to write. It's funny, I was totally expecting Bush to win, but I wasn't expecting I'd be this upset. The response from around the world is astounding too, as everyone I know from other countries is just extremely depressed right now.
All my energy these past two days has been spent in argument with Bush supporters down here. As you know, I live in a state whose Democrafic majority votes Republican. People down here actually believe that Kerry was too "wishy washy" (I hate that term SO much!).
Well I don't have the energy to vent here. I've written enough on this to fill a book. If you really want to see what I've been writing, it's all in the forum at The Ringling Gaming Club. I've never written so much in my whole life.
Right now I just want to focus on my brother's wedding (which is next week!), next semester, and next year when I can finally leave this place for good.
(I thought this link was very funny.)
Posted by dminky at 12:12 PM | TrackBack
November 02, 2004
Election Day
Well... here we are, midday on the day that will decide a very large part of the future of the world. I wonder how long it will take for the result to be decided, and how many lawsuits we'll have to sit through.
The sad thing is most voters don't realize how much is at stake here, as is the case of my friend who voted solely on the basis that Bush believes in tougher sanctions against Cuba.
I used to be positive that Bush would win this, but I'm starting to have some faith in Kerry. I wonder if we'll a new president by tomorrow morning.
And in non-political news, soon I'm going to be moving over to my own site. I haven't decided what domain to buy or any of that, but hopefully within the next week I can begin migrating this blog at least.
I also selected classes for next semester. It should be a very fun semester, not like this one at all. :-p I'm looking forward to it.
Posted by dminky at 02:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 01, 2004
A Tale Of Two Osamas
I jsut want to reference another site that details the differences between the CNN translation and the Al Jazeera translation of Osama bin Laden's recently released video tape. Makes you wonder what else may have been "doctored" for an American audience.
Posted by dminky at 12:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack