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January 27, 2003
Vampires Are A Catholic Conspiracy!
I kind of came across a disturbing revelation this weekend after realizing that the welcome sign on my door was an open invitation for vampires: non-Christian religions are helpless against vampire attacks. As you all know, vampires are repelled by the sight of a cross. But what about a star of David, or a dharma wheel, or a crescent moon? None of these symbols have any effect on vampires whatsoever! So this led me to wonder, "Why? Why only crosses?"
That's when I came across the scary part. You see, it only makes sense then that vampires are a creation from back in the early days of the Christian Church. Vampires were created by powerful Roman priests who used to set them upon non-Christians. They were used to weed out pagan practices from Rome; they were used again during the Crusades; and they were used in the Inquisition. Everywhere you find vampires, Christians are never far behind, waiting with their "exorcisms." Vampires' repulsion to crosses is merely an act. For example:
Vampire: "Waah, I vant to suck your blood!"
Christian: "Oh no, a vampire!" *Holds up cross*
Vampire: "Oh no! A cross! Hisssssss..." *Wink wink*
Christian: "Be gone, foul demon!" *Winks back*
So as you can see, this is clearly some form of radical conversion. If a vampire bites a non-Christian, he too becomes a vampire, only to further serve the will of the Christian Church. But I ask you this: When all of the heathens are gone, who will the vampires turn to next?...
(Note: Yes, this is a joke. My Catholic friend and I were poking fun at eachother and came up with this.)
Posted by dminky at 01:21 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 19, 2003
It's Been Some Time
Okay, so it's been quite a while since I've updated this, and I fully intended on updating as soon as I got back to school, but I was detained by squirrels. You understand, I'm sure. Anyway, I'm working on some new things for the page, so hopefully I'll find time in my somewhat busy schedule to finish them. For now though, I've finish adding a few jokes and whatnot to the humor section (yes, I'm a bit late with all the Christmas jokes, but its because they're so much cheaper after the New Year).
Posted by dminky at 11:23 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack