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March 26, 2005
A Chemical Analysis of Woman
Material Safety Data Sheet: Woman, a chemical analysis
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Acceptedas 118lbs., known to vary from 110 to 550lbs.
Occurance: Copious quantities throughout the world.
- Physical properties:
- Surface usually covered with a painted field and a variety of esthers.
- Boils at nothing, feezes without reason.
- Melts when given special treatment.
- Bitter if incorrectly used.
- Found in states varying from virgin metal to common ore.
- Yields to pressure applied at correct points.
- Chemical properties:
- Has a genuine affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
- Absorbs great quantities of attention.
- VOLATILE: May explode without warning for no apparent reason.
- Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased with alcohol.
- Most common uses:
- Primarily ornamental, especially in sports cars.
- Found to be a great aid to relaxation.
- Tests:
- Pure specimen turns rosey pink when discovered in its natural state.
- Turns green when placed next to a fresher specimen.
- Hazards:
- Hard to retain when left in inexperienced hands.
- Illegal (not to mention deadly) to possess more than one at a time.
Posted by dminky at March 26, 2005 05:51 PM
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