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February 17, 2005

Ten Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Chemistry Lab

  1. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.
  2. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"
  3. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."
  4. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."
  5. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"
  6. Deny the existence of chemicals.
  7. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.
  8. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker.
  9. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid
  10. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.

Posted by dminky at February 17, 2005 09:57 PM

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