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October 31, 2004
Happy Halloween
Well I really wanted to go to a haunted house tonight, but the only one we could find was run by a Southern Baptist church down here. We went anyway, fully knowing we were gonna get a ride into Jack Chickville...
We were informed before entering that there would be people available for counseling if we had any questions afterwards.
They started out by putting us in a room and directing us to watch a screen, where they played a video montage of the torture scenes from Passion of the Christ while blaring really loud obnoxious death metal. The montage was very poorly made, with bad text fading in and out giving the typical message that Jesus died . . . FOR YOU! A few people burst into weeping instantly. Then Satan came out and told us not to listen to those crazy church people, and to listen to him instead. Then we were ushered into the next room.
80% of the house was basically clowns running around with chainsaws and screaming, accompanied by people screaming, "WATCH OUT FOR THE CLOWNS! DON'T GO IN THERE!" I don't know what clowns have to do with Satan... but oh well.
Then we went into a "rave." A bunch of kids were playing dead on the ground next to empy bottles of Bud Light (the raver's drink of choice). Satan was spinning, and a few devils were playing with glowsticks. I had no idea Hell was such a party...
Then we went into a white trash home. A car had crashed through the window and a mother lay dead on the couch while here daughter cried in the other room. The girls in the car also had the telltale Bud Light. This room kind of broke the mood cause the girls in the car were completely bored out of their minds and didn't really keep character. They were definitely the people who were only involved to rack up some community service points. The dead mother had been watching a 3-D animatied cartoon. Poor soul... to think that's the last thing she saw.
Then we went into the best room of the house. Two people watching The Ring. Seriously! Then we went down a hallway that looped another part of the movie, after which we turned to corner to be face to face with Sadako coming out of the well! W00t! That was awesome. Kudos to them for that.
Then we were ushered into a room where a rapper in black face was shouting "mofo" and busting caps in all directions, and a man clearly meant to be a Muslim was babbling and killing hostages. Ah, finally, the true face of Souther Baptism. Too bad there wasn't also a woman with a job! Or a Kerry supporter! I guess that would've been to scary for some people.
It was a fun house, especially for the Sadako room. I was a little offended by the room with the Muslim and black man, and especially the beginning scene with Jesus and the bad type. But it's a church so there has to be some of the latter (and it's a bad church, so there has to be a bit of the former).
I also would like to mention a very nice prank which was pulled on me this morning. Someone came by in the night and taped up pictures of the characters in Ju-On to my windows. So the first person I saw in the morning was Kayako staring into my window at me. Very nice touch. It was broad daylight, so I wasn't scared, but I do appreciate the effort and it was a clever prank. Nobody's taken credit for it yet...
Posted by dminky at October 31, 2004 11:57 PM
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