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April 08, 2004
1337|\|355
This is amazing. The other day I went to Good Will, and I noticed something amazing: an old LP of 80's band Journey's album "Escape." What amazed me was not the fact that I found a Journey record, and that Journey is such a cool band that anyone should be amazed by that. No, what amazed me was the fact that the title was written "ESC4P3." It was written in 1337speak! Now before you scoff, remember that this was 1981... long before the internet went mainstream. Long before AOL. Long before geeks were writing to eachother about their 9600 baud modems in 1337 to sound cool and impress nerd chixxors. Long before 13-year-old children were cursing at eachother in 1337 while playing Everquest and looking at pr0n with their dad's credit card. Before all of this, only Journey new the secret language of 1337!
The cover of the album is a spaceship, which we know were hardly commonplace in 1981. The lyrics of many Journey songs ("Worlds Apart," "Don't Stop Believin'") imply faith in a parallel universe; onel ike our own, yet so far away. Possibly an allegory for the parallel dimensions created by time travel. The only possible conclusion that can explain these amazing phenomena is that Steve Perry was visited by a spaceship from the future. The inhabitants must have logged him onto the future internet where he played future Everquest and learned the advanced language of 1337. He was then transported back to the past, where he tried to capture the beauty he witnessed in the future with his supreme 80's vocals. (Future music technology is, of course, the only thing capable of creating the amazing music that Journey made.) The only clues to this encounter hidden in Escape -- the 1337 and the spaceship -- were too subtle and too trivial for the future spacemen to return back and liquidate Steve Perry's brain (or God forbid, his amazing singing voice). Future spacemen would hardly know the difference between 1981 and 1996 and therefore might not catch the small historical paradox. (Afterall, who among us is conscious of the fact that in 1793 people were picking cotton by hand, whereas in 1795 the cotton gin was roarin' down the fields, doing half the work for them?)
We are lucky to have brave souls like Journey to point out the proof that time travel does exist. I hope the next time you are visited by aliens, or spacemen, or Scientologists, you will remember Journey's bravery and find away to expose more of the truth that the future governments do not want us to know. Thank you, Journey. I won't stop believin'...
Posted by dminky at April 8, 2004 08:51 PM
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Comments
Impressive.. but did you know atari made a game for the 2600 based on that album?
I have played this game. I've even 0wn3d it.
According to the game, Journey's manager was the Kool Aid man's orange brother.
Posted by: Eric at April 8, 2004 11:16 PM